


Too Good To Forget

by malfoys_minx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Hand Jobs, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Top Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 11:43:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoys_minx/pseuds/malfoys_minx
Summary: "Promise me something? If we get outta all this alive, I want you to fuck me."In 1945 Bucky demanded Steve make him a promise too good to forget. Seventy years later, it might just be enough to make the Winter Soldier remember who he is.





	Too Good To Forget

_ "Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?" Bucky asked, joining Steve at the cliff edge.  _

_ "Yeah and I threw up?"  _

_ "This isn't payback, is it?"  _

_ "Now why would I do that?" _

_ Bucky laughed, stepping closer and nudging Steve with his shoulder.  _

_ "Promise me something?"  _

_ "Anything."  _

_ Bucky shot him a grin at his ready agreement before shifting even closer, dropping his voice so low that even with his enhanced hearing Steve had to strain to catch his words over the sound of the wind.  _

_ "If we get outta all this alive, I want you to fuck me." _

_ "You... Really?" Steve's heart stuttered, his eyes going wide and his breathing suddenly coming in such rapid pants that it was almost like his asthma had returned. _

_ He wanted Bucky more than anything, always had, but even in his wildest fantasies he had never dreamed that his friend could want something like this, no matter what had happened between them before now. After all, they had never so much as  _ talked _ about what they did in the deepest part of the night. It was their dirty little secret, so secret that even they had never dared give voice to it. The kisses, the touches, the way they clung to each other as they brought each other a few moments of bliss in the darkness, all of it muffled in desperate silence, suffocated by the fear of discovery. Steve had never dared push what they did any further, certain that whatever this thing was, it was too fragile to survive exposure even between themselves, but now...  _

_ "You promised, Stevie." Bucky smirked. "'Anything', remember?"  _

_ "I..." He swallowed hard, forcing his breathing to slow back down to something resembling its normal rate. "Yeah, yeah ok, I promise."  _

_ Bucky's grin was positively filthy as he stepped back, putting some needed distance between them. "I'm gonna hold you to that, Rogers." _

_ Before Steve could reply, Gabe interrupted with news of the train and all he could do was shoot Bucky a quick smile before the moment was lost.  _

\---

When the elevator doors pinged open on the communal floor of Avengers Tower, Sam was midway through regaling Steve with the tale of his not-so-successful date the previous evening. 

"Let's just say she did  _ not _ enjoy the Cyclone." Sam told him with an exaggerated grimace that made Steve chuckle. 

"I rode the Cyclone once." He remembered aloud, his eyes automatically shooting to the brooding figure coiled up on a seat by the window. 

As usual, Bucky was sat on his own, purposefully removed from the cluster of sofas where Natasha and Bruce were pouring over a crossword, while Tony tinkered with a gadget of some sort and Pepper tapped away on her tablet beside him. It had only been a few months since they had finally tracked the Soldier down and persuaded him to return with them and Steve knew it was far too early to expect any real improvement. Still, he could barely look at the other man without his heart clenching painfully and this time was no exception. 

He was convinced that some part of his Bucky was still in there somewhere and not just because Steve didn't know what he would do if he wasn't. For one thing, the Soldier obviously knew him, even if he didn't truly remember how or why. It had been enough to break through decades of Hydra's conditioning at least, enough even for the other man to agree to come home with him and surely that had to count for something. Steve was almost certain that even if Bucky's memories never returned in any meaningful way, he would at least come back to himself in time. The only problem was that thus far the Soldier didn't even seem to want to try. He spoke very little and only when asked a direct question that could not be merely shrugged off. Steve's tentative probing about the past had proved even less successful and more often than not the other man ignored him completely, not even offering up a scowl in return for his gentle queries. 

"Bucky made me do it." He added, catching the minute shift of a metal shoulder at the sound of the name before he forced himself to look away and back at Sam. "I threw up."

"Seriously?" Sam's laugh choked off abruptly as Steve suddenly found himself flying backwards, slamming into the wall with enough force to send flakes of plaster raining down over his shoulders. 

Immediately his gaze flicked down, taking in the metal hand pressed tight against his chest and pinning him in place, before looking back up to meet stormy blue eyes. Bucky's face was all but expressionless as he stared unblinkingly back at Steve, but there was something in his eyes, a glimmer of something, recognition, perhaps, that made Steve's heart flutter in his chest. In his periphery, he could see the rest of the Avengers poised on high alert, but Steve shook his head, holding up his hands to keep them back without once dropping Bucky's gaze. 

For what felt like an age, but couldn't have been more than a few seconds, Bucky continued to stare at him, seemingly searching for something in Steve's face, and though he didn't have the first idea of what the other man was looking for,  _ Christ  _ he hoped he'd find it. It took every ounce of his willpower to remain still, to stop himself from reaching out to squeeze Bucky's shoulder or wrap an arm around him the way he might have done in the old days. Only this wasn't Bucky, not really. He was still the Soldier and Steve didn't dare move so much as a muscle while he remained caught beneath that steely gaze. Yet as the moment seemed to stretch out indefinitely, Steve's self-control began to slip. 

His mouth had gone dry at the continued proximity and he swallowed hard, breath hitching at the way Bucky's attention dropped fleetingly to track the movement of his throat. When their eyes met again Steve was almost sure he could see something that hadn't been there before and he wanted to think that it was warmth, maybe even remembrance. Still, even confusion was better than the cold stare that he'd become accustomed to seeing over the past few months and cautiously he pushed a little further. Tentatively he let his tongue slide out to wet his lips and his heart skipped when once again the movement drew Bucky's gaze, his eyes flashing with  _ something _ . Only before Steve could even begin to analyse his expression, Bucky pounced. 

His mouth slammed against Steve's with a suddenness and violence that took his breath away, yet even the metal hand now pressing painfully into his chest barely registered over the earth-shattering realisation that  _ Bucky was kissing him _ . It was rough, brutal even, and Steve was so stunned that it took several precious seconds before his brain could catch up. Several seconds too long, if Bucky's next move was anything to go by. Except rather than withdrawing as Steve might have feared, he instead  _ demanded  _ a response, his teeth sinking sharply into Steve's lip, biting hard and dragging a helpless gasp from Steve's lungs. 

His lips parted automatically around the whisper of breath and the other man took immediate advantage, plunging his tongue into Steve's mouth and all but devouring him. It was wild and unrestrained, almost animalistic and Bucky had never kissed him like that before, yet somehow beneath it all he still tasted the same as he always had and Steve couldn't bite back his whimper as Bucky continued to assault his mouth. 

At the pained sound, Bucky froze and Steve panicked, his arms snaking around Bucky to keep him close as he belatedly began to kiss him back, begging with his lips for what he had never been able to ask for with words. He had no idea what the other man was thinking or what had prompted the pseudo-attack, but whatever was behind it, he was not ready for it to be over, for Bucky to turn back into the cold, unreachable assassin. Only Bucky didn't pull away. Instead his lips gentled against Steve's and just like that, it was as if seventy years had simply melted away. They could have been back in their tent, mouths pressed together to stifle their moans as they clung to each other in the dark and suddenly all the memories Steve had kept locked away in the deepest corner of his heart rolled over him in an almost crushing wave of emotion. He remembered all those nights they'd spent wrapped around each other, their heated breath fogging the air between them as they fought to stay quiet. He remembered the desperate need, the fear of discovery, the hastily stolen kisses, the guilty fumbles and he was sure Bucky must remember them too, or at least some part of him must, because he tilted his head just so, swiping his tongue in the way that had always left Steve shuddering against him. 

By the time Bucky finally pulled back, Steve was a panting mess, the unyielding hand on his chest the only thing stopping him from sliding bonelessly to the floor. He wanted to speak, to say something,  _ anything _ , but words failed him. All he could do was stare into Bucky's eyes and cling on to him, silently willing the other man not to run away from this. 

"You made me a promise." Bucky growled finally and Steve's heart clenched in his chest. 

Surely Bucky didn't mean...  _ couldn't _ mean... He barely even remembered Steve; all those years of being inseparable, everything they'd been through together and Bucky seemingly remembered none of it and yet... There had been something in that kiss. Something that gave Steve more hope than he'd dared to allow himself in all the time that had passed since he'd let Bucky fall from the train.

"You promised, if we made it out alive, and we're alive... aren't we?" 

Bucky looked ragged all of a sudden, his face twisted with pain and confusion. The hesitation in his tone, the question that shouldn't have been there, broke Steve's heart all over again and his arms tightened, his hands rubbing soothing circles over Bucky's back. 

"Yeah" Steve confirmed roughly, the enormity of that hitting him afresh. "Yeah, Buck, we are."

Bucky's expression changed then, his features softening and his lips quirking just slightly with the ghost of a smirk. 

"You promised, Stevie." He murmured, his right hand coming up to brush away a tear Steve hadn't even noticed rolling down his own face. 

It was the nickname that did it; more than the kiss, more than the glimpse of that agonisingly familiar smirk, more even than having Bucky back in his arms again. 

"Yeah." Steve breathed. "Yeah, I fucking  _ did _ ." 

With that he tore Bucky's hand from his chest, twisting his own fingers around the metal digits and completely ignoring Tony's shout of " _ Language _ !" as he hauled the surprisingly unresistant ex-assassin towards the stairs. 

By the time they reached Steve's bedroom on the floor below, his brain had caught up with his libido. The same however could not be said for the amorous soldier in his arms. As soon as the door closed behind them, Steve found himself shoved up against it, his mouth captured in an almost desperate kiss. He had neither the heart nor the inclination to pull away and for long moments he lost himself to the feel of Bucky pressed tightly against him, his lips moving hungrily against his own.

"We should talk." He murmured when they finally parted for breath.

"No." Bucky disagreed before adding, almost as an afterthought. "We never talked about it before." 

"You remember that?" Steve asked, startled, holding the other man back when he leaned in for another kiss.

Bucky shrugged, pushing forward again and trying to wrestle Steve into submission.

"C'mon, Buck, we need to talk about this, we can't just pick up like-"

"Yes we can." He interrupted. "Stevie, please, I need you."

"How can you remember so little and still know exactly how to wrap me around your little finger." Steve groaned.

"It's a gift." Bucky grinned and Steve's mouth went dry.

It had been so long since he'd seen such a light and open expression on the other man's face that it was like a physical blow. His hold went lax and Bucky crowed at his victory, slamming their mouths together again and kissing Steve until he could barely breathe.

"I don't know what happened tonight to bring you back to me." He mused dazedly when Bucky finally let him up for air. "But I will never stop being thankful for it."

"You made me a promise too good to forget." Bucky murmured against his lips, pushing his thigh between Steve's and pressing him more firmly against the door. "I just needed a little  _ nudge  _ to remember it."

"Yeah, but..." Steve gasped, his words trailing off as something not at all little nudged against his hip, leaving him clutching desperately at the thread of his self-control.

This was important, he was sure of it, though it was getting increasingly difficult to recall why he couldn't just give in to Bucky's kisses. He'd wanted this for so long, wanted this man back in his life and back in his arms and yet... What if this was only a temporary respite? What if Bucky's mind turned on him and he withdrew again? How could Steve reach him if he didn't know how to draw him out of himself?

"Something happened." He insisted, his hands sliding up to Bucky's shoulders and holding him at arm's length. "And it wasn't until  _ after  _ you kissed me."

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" Bucky sighed.

"Nope." He popped the 'p' between his lips and the other man rolled his eyes, but relented, no longer fighting against Steve's hold on him.

"I don't know what to tell you." Bucky admitted. "I don't  _ know _ what happened. One minute I was  _ that _ and the next I was me again." 

" _ That _ ?" Steve echoed, wondering how Bucky saw the Soldier now that he had apparently come back to himself. 

"Well I sure as hell wasn't  _ me _ ." Bucky grimaced. 

"You remembered me though." He pointed out quietly. "Enough to come home with me." 

Bucky considered that for a moment before he began to speak, his brow furrowed in thought. 

"When you found me I didn't remember anything much, just flashes of things I couldn't place. They weren't even memories, really, but I was..." He hesitated, seemingly searching for the right word. " _ Struggling  _ to get by on my own. Then out of the blue you showed up, begging me to come with you, promising to help me and despite everything, I found myself believing you,  _ trusting _ you, even though I didn't trust anyone, not even myself. I only meant to stay for a bit, to let you help me like you promised, until I could manage by myself and then I was going to leave. Only you seemed to really want me here and you weren't hurting me, so in the end I figured I may as well just stay."

Steve frowned at that, but bit his tongue, letting Bucky talk without interruption. 

"Except when you said about Coney Island before it was like something fractured in my head. I didn't know what it meant or why it mattered, but I knew that it did. It mattered a lot and I needed, I dunno,  _ something _ . From you. It was important you gave me something, only I didn't know what it was or how to ask for it. And then I was kissing you, because it seemed like the thing to do, even though I still didn't know  _ why _ and none of it made any sense until all at once it  _ did _ ."

Bucky trembled suddenly, his expression turning haunted, and Steve relaxed his hold immediately, carefully guiding the other man across the room to sit on the bed. 

"It's ok." Steve tried to reassure him, only for the words to die in his throat when Bucky twisted abruptly, grabbing hold of him with such desperation that his grip was almost painful. 

"It was you." He stared at Steve, eyes wide with dawning realisation. "When you held me, when you kissed me back, it was like everything I thought I was tilted on its axis... Like a light had been switched on or a wall had come down in my head and behind it was this whole other person I'd forgotten even existed."

Bucky released him as suddenly as he'd caught hold of him, his chest heaving as he tried to get a hold of his emotions, and Steve could hardly bear it. Knowing that the conversation was one they'd needed to have didn't make it any easier to see Bucky split open like this and all he wanted was to make the other man's pain go away. 

Shifting back to sit against the headboard, he pulled Bucky carefully into his lap, cuddling him protectively against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Buck." 

"It's alright." Bucky told him gently, as if he were the one in need of comfort, turning to settle sideways across his thighs so he could meet Steve's eyes without contorting himself. "You know, you set me free, Stevie. You made me  _ feel  _ something. Something  _ good _ ." His voice dropped suddenly, turning so soft that Steve had to lean in even closer to hear him. "And until then I hadn't realised I could feel anything at all besides pain."

The wave of all-encompassing rage that hit him at Bucky's quiet confession was nearly overwhelming in its intensity and it was a long moment before he could see through the haze of fury to the worried looking face of his best friend.

"Steve?"

"I will  _ never."  _ He declared roughly, struggling not to crush the other man with the fervency of his embrace. "Let  _ anyone  _ hurt you,  _ ever  _ again."

"I know." Bucky assured him, pressing a warm palm against Steve's cheek. "Remember when it used to be  _ my _ job to look out for  _ your _ ass?"

"Yeah, I do." Steve smiled a little sadly, covering Bucky's hand with his own and twining their fingers together. "Do you remember anything else?" 

"Yes?" Bucky responded uncertainly, his brow creasing in concentration. "I remember who I was, or at least I have a sense of self, which I sure as hell didn't have before. I remember my family, I think. I remember being a kid and going to school and growing up and going to work. I remember dancing with pretty girls and I remember joining the army and through  _ all _ of it I remember you. In nearly every memory I have there's always  _ you _ , but it's all mixed up and fragmented in my head. Like my life is a box of jumbled up photographs with no captions. I remember all sorts of things, I just don't know how to make sense of any of the details that tie everything together." He scowled. "It's fucking confusing."

"Maybe I can help?" Steve pressed a kiss against the back of Bucky's hand. "Tell me about some of your pictures and we can try and fill in the missing links together."

"I remember you kissing me." He offered cautiously. "It's one of the clearest pictures I have, only you didn't look like this."

Steve sucked in a breath at that, but he honestly couldn't say whether it had been caused by his words or by the metal finger Bucky trailed over his chest as he spoke. 

"It was right after you enlisted." Steve told him quietly. 

Even now it hurt to think back to that day and he could still recall so vividly the way it had felt, realising that for the first time in their lives Bucky was going somewhere that Steve couldn't follow. The thought of his friend going off to fight without him had damn near killed him and yet his frustration at his own failings had been nothing compared to the almost crushing fear that he'd been about to lose Bucky forever. 

"You didn't want me to go without you." 

Steve shook his head. "I never said that." 

"You didn't have to." 

Steve's grip on Bucky's hand was so tight it must have been uncomfortable, but he couldn't seem to force his fingers to relax. "I think you might remember more than you realise."

"Feelings are easier. I don't need to see the little details to remember how strong you always were, how  _ good _ , how deeply you cared..." He smiled a little. "How deeply you cared about  _ me _ ." 

"I was crazy about you." Steve confessed quietly. "You were my world and I was so scared of losing you. You said you'd be back before I knew it, told me not to get into any more fights and ruffled my hair. I don't know what came over me after that, but when you went to leave I guess I got a little desperate. I grabbed hold of your shirt with both hands and kissed you square on the mouth."

"You looked so defiant after." Bucky remembered with a smile.

"And you looked so shocked I was worried you might swoon." Steve ran a rueful hand through his hair. "I thought for sure I was gonna lose you after that, that you'd leave and never come back."

"But I didn't?"

"No, you didn't. You came over the next day just like always and never said a word about it."

"So what changed?" Bucky asked curiously, squeezing Steve's fingers where they were still wrapped up in his own.

"What else do you remember?" Steve prompted, letting him think for a long moment without pushing him for an answer. 

"I kissed you too, didn't I? But after...?" He pressed his metal hand against Steve's chest again as he paused, thinking a little more, before his eyes shot up suddenly. "You nearly died. There was a fire? I thought you weren't gonna make it."

"You got captured." Steve told him, wondering how much more he needed to say on that subject. "I came to find you and they blew the whole damn place up while we were trying to get out."

"It was the Hydra base, right? They injected me with something, made me stronger, helped me survive the fall... and the rest of it." He laughed, but it was a bitter sound, devoid of amusement. "Funny how I have no trouble remembering that part."

"But you remember what happened after that too?" Steve pressed, keen to move on and banish the shadows that had sprung up in Bucky's eyes.

"We were in the woods? Was that after we got out? Your face was filthy and you looked exhausted, but you were looking at me like..." He smiled, a metal finger lifting to trace the curve of Steve's jaw. "Just like that... So relieved and hopeful and I couldn't help myself, I just kissed you, right there in the open." 

"Yeah I did not see that one coming." Steve chuckled. "I was so shocked I didn't even kiss you back at first."

"I'm beginning to see a pattern here." Bucky winked and Steve grinned back helplessly.

"We were walking back to camp with the rest of the guys and it was so dark we had to stop for the night." He elaborated. "You and I had wandered a little way away and you seemed really jumpy. I thought it was because of something they'd done to you, but then-"

"I jumped you?" 

"Pretty much." Steve grinned. "Not that I was complaining. In fact, if I recall correctly, as soon as you let me up for air, I dragged you further off, hid us behind a tree or something, and kissed you until you sounded like me with my asthma."

"I wish I remembered how that felt." Bucky lamented, looking so forlorn that Steve couldn't resist. 

"Want me to remind you?" He asked huskily. 

"Yeah." Bucky breathed, his eyes blazing. "Yeah, I  _ really _ do."

Without another word, Steve lifted his free hand to cup Bucky's face, smoothing his thumb over his cheek before slowly leaning in and pressing their lips together. He kept the kiss sweet and chaste for as long as he could bear, mouth moving over Bucky's in a soft caress, until Bucky moaned, a long drawn out sound that snapped his self-control in two. With an answering groan, Steve pressed closer, his tongue swiping across the seam of Bucky's lips before plunging inside when they parted instantly. 

Finally untangling their fingers, Steve grabbed hold of Bucky's head with both hands, holding him still as he all but devoured him, re-exploring every inch of the other man's mouth. Not to be outdone, Bucky's right hand found its way into Steve's hair, tugging on it sharply in a way that left him breathless and suddenly he couldn't get enough. Any intention he'd had of drawing back evaporated entirely at the rough treatment and he found himself diving right back in instead, kissing Bucky with everything he had until they were both gasping for breath. 

"You know, I think that did help my memory." Bucky panted when they finally broke apart. 

"Really? Cos I'm not sure I remember my own name right now." Steve blurted without thinking. 

"Sap." Bucky teased and Steve swatted at him, ducking his head to hide his blush.

"So what else do you remember?" Steve pressed, hoping to distract him. 

"Well your name is Steve Rogers, if that helps." Bucky ended on a yelp as Steve prodded him in the ribs. "And after you kissed me that very first time, I couldn't think about anything else."

"Really?" Steve's eyes shot up, searching Bucky's face. 

"I think it's why that picture is so clear in my head, I thought about it so often it's practically burned into my brain." Bucky paused again, seeming to gather his thoughts before continuing. "I remember daydreaming about you too, even before I left, I think, but especially after. The memory of that kiss used to keep me warm at night, thinking about how good your little body felt pressed up against me, imagining all the things I'd do to you when I came home..."

Steve's eyes went wide at the admission and for a long moment all he could do was stare.

"I wasn't so little after that." He said finally, fixating on the only part his brain seemed able to process.

"Well this body feels pretty damn good too." Bucky told him, running his hands appreciatively over Steve's chest. "And little or large, it didn't matter to me. I wanted  _ you  _ and knowing that I'd nearly lost you..."

"You wanted me?" Steve interrupted helplessly, reeling from so many unexpected revelations.

"Yeah, I wanted you.  _ Christ _ , I wanted you so much. Every time you walked into a room I wanted to slam you against the nearest wall and kiss you until you could barely breathe and to hell with who saw us." 

"Well you can tick that off your list." Steve quipped and Bucky barked out a laugh of genuine amusement, the sound so foreign that it momentarily took them both by surprise. 

"Yeah, sorry about that." He said a little sheepishly.

"Don't be." Steve grinned. "I bet Tony's face was a picture." 

"You really didn't know I wanted you?" Bucky asked after a beat, returning to their conversation.

Steve shook his head. "No, not really."

"But didn't we...?" Bucky scowled suddenly. "Fuck, what do I know? Maybe none of it happened, maybe it was all in my head, full to bursting with all the depraved fantasies of what I wanted to do to you, but didn't dare."

"You dared." Steve assured him, his heart aching even as his face heated at the thought of  _ 'depraved fantasies' _ . 

"Then why can't I remember any of this? I want to so bad and it's all so fucking vague and fuzzy. I don't even know what's real, it's driving me crazy."

"Hey, it's ok." Steve reached out, smoothing the frown lines from Bucky's forehead. "Let me help."

Bucky took a deep breath before nodding tightly. "We kissed a lot, right? Not just those times, but all the time? I'm not imagining that, am I? " 

"You used to jump me every time we got more than two minutes alone." Steve confirmed with a fond smile. "I still don't know how we never got caught." 

"And that didn't give you a clue that I might be into you?" 

Steve shrugged awkwardly. "I thought you were just making do. Not a whole lotta dames on the front line."

Bucky's brows nearly hit his hairline. "But we did more than kiss, I'm sure we did... Didn't we?" 

Steve nodded wordlessly. 

"Remind me?" Bucky asked and if he hadn't looked so frustrated, Steve might have thought it was a come on. 

"We fooled around sometimes." Steve told him. "Late at night, if we thought we could get away with it."

"' _ Fooled around _ '?" Bucky rolled his eyes. "You gotta give me a bit more to go on than that, Stevie, baby."

"We jerked each other off." He elaborated, cheeks flushing at the endearment. "And a time or two we used our mouths."

"So what you're saying is that I sucked your damn cock and you  _ still _ didn't think it was because I wanted you? How desperate did you think I was?" 

"I don't... I didn't... It was just..." 

"You'll hurt yourself if you keep that up." Bucky interrupted, cutting him off mid-stammer with a finger against his lips. 

"You were always such a ladies' man." Steve muttered, tugging the hand away and pressing a kiss into its palm.

Bucky snorted and Steve shot him a wry smile, even as his heart swelled at the familiar sound. The other man may have been frustrated by his patchy memories, but from Steve's perspective, Bucky was positively blooming. Of course there were still shadows in his eyes and there probably always would be, but every time Bucky's lips curled up with that easy smile, that same smile that even an hour ago he'd thought he'd never see again, his heart skipped a beat. Against all the odds, he had his best friend back and the longer they talked, the more of Bucky's old character seemed to shine through. 

He relished every tiny little mannerism; the quirk of an eyebrow, the tilt of his head when he thought Steve was being particularly stupid, and the way that he spoke to him... No one had ever teased him the way Bucky did; cocky as hell and yet with such underlying warmth beneath it all that he had never questioned how much Bucky cared for him. Steve may have believed that the other man would never return his more romantic feelings, but he'd never once doubted the depth of his friend's affection. 

"You gotta understand, Buck, I'd wanted you for so long by then, spent years watching from the sidelines as you took out every pretty dame in New York, it just didn't make sense. How could you possibly want me? Especially once I looked like this; I'm not exactly feminine."

"With those big baby blues and that sweet smile, you could give any dame a run for her money." Bucky teased, but his eyes were soft. "And I never wanted any of them the way I wanted you."

"Yeah?" His breath caught in his throat as he pressed another kiss into Bucky's palm.

Bucky just grinned back at him and Steve couldn't resist, leaning in and fitting their mouths together.

"So tell me." Bucky murmured when they eventually parted. "When did I finally get my hands on your cock? And how did you manage to keep convincing yourself I didn't want you, manly muscles and all, after that?" 

Steve rolled his eyes, but opted to ignore the second part of the question, focusing instead on the first. 

"It was freezing out and we were sharing a tent. You complained you were cold and wiggled about until you were practically on top of me and I was ready to combust. Then you told me you knew something that would warm us up for sure."

"And let me guess, you didn't have a clue what I was after?"

"I was hot and bothered enough after all your wriggling, I didn't think I needed any more warming up." Steve flushed, avoiding the question. 

Of course he'd had an inkling even then, he just hadn't dared to hope that Bucky was suggesting what he desperately wanted him to be suggesting. Especially when he was already so worked up that his entire focus had been on keeping his erection from accidentally brushing against Bucky's body and giving himself away completely. 

"You're an idiot." Bucky told him and mentally Steve had to agree.

"I worked it out eventually... After you'd kissed me senseless and shoved your hand down my pants."

"That sounds like something I would do." Bucky admitted. 

"But you don't remember?" Steve tried to keep his voice even, but from the look on the other man's face, he wasn't sure he'd succeeded. 

"No, but I remember another night in a tent. It wasn't cold, but we were squashed together anyway on this tiny little cot you could barely fit in on your own."

"Base camp." Steve filled in. "I had my own tent, Captain's perks. Only I really couldn't fit on that damn cot so I let you sleep on it instead." 

"Except you could fit on it just fine, which we proved pretty conclusively when we jerked each other off on it."

"That's not the same as trying to sleep on it." He protested. 

"Steve, it's been seventy years, let it go."

For a second he considered arguing back, but apparently Bucky hadn't even believed him then, so it seemed a little pointless to continue the charade. "You were injured after France, you needed it more than I did and you were far too stubborn to take it when I offered." 

" _ I'm _ the stubborn one?" Bucky laughed incredulously. "Fuckin' hell, Steve. I was fine and you know it, it was barely even a scratch."

"Well maybe I just liked seeing you in my bed." He shot back without thinking. 

"Now  _ that _ I believe." Bucky face split into a broad smirk at Steve's unintentional admission. 

"Oh shut up." He groused, cheeks flushing. 

"So you don't want to know what else I remember?" There was a provocative edge to Bucky's voice that sent a shiver racing down Steve's spine.

"No, I do. Tell me?"

"I remember other nights... I don't know when or where, but I remember you. I remember the feel of your hard cock in my hand and your hot breath on my face. I remember nearly coming in my pants just listening to those tiny little sounds you used to make when you were trying to be quiet but couldn't hold back." 

"Bucky..." Steve breathed, heart racing at the molten words spilling from the other man's lips and suddenly Bucky twisted in his arms, straddling his lap and bringing them face to face.

"I remember the taste of you on my tongue." Bucky continued, relentless now. "I remember the first time I wrapped my lips around your cock, I remember how badly I wanted to make you come for me, so I could swallow you down and keep a part of you with me, inside me, no matter what happened..."

" _ Bucky... _ " He repeated helplessly, only this time Bucky stopped as his memory gave out on him again.

"What I  _ don't  _ remember, is anything else about it." He scowled, sitting back on Steve's legs as his shoulders slumped dejectedly.

"Want a reminder?" He rested his hands on Bucky's thighs, squeezing lightly as the other man nodded once. 

"I was keeping watch just outside camp. Everyone else was fast asleep and you came to find me. I was leaning against this huge tree, wishing you were there with me, when suddenly there you were, materialising out of the mist like some sort of apparition. I thought I'd dreamed you up at first, especially when you didn't even kiss me, you just walked right up to me and dropped to your knees." He took a shuddering breath, his grip tightening on Bucky's legs as he continued. "You didn't say a word, just stared up at me as you undid my pants and slipped your hand inside. I don't think you were expecting me to be hard yet, but I was halfway there before you even arrived, just imagining all the things I wanted to do to you and Christ, Buck, the way you were looking up at me... It was more than enough to have me aching for you.

"You grinned when you realised how turned on I already was and I nearly stopped you, nearly hauled you to your feet so I could kiss that smirk away, but I couldn't make myself move. You could have done anything to me right then and I'd have let you, hell I'd probably have begged you for more."

Bucky groaned at that. "Promises, promises."

"You want me to beg?" He demanded roughly. "Cos I will, Buck. I'll beg you to kiss me, to touch me. I'll beg you to get on your knees like you did that night and wrap your mouth around me. If you knew the number of times I've wanked to that memory, imagined seeing you looking up at me like that again, your lips stretched wide as you sucked me off..."

Bucky's tongue darted out, running over his lips and leaving a sheen of moisture in its wake. At the sight of it, Steve broke off helplessly, burying his fingers in the other man's hair and dragging him into a heated kiss. He'd been half hard for ages, but this latest turn in the conversation had left him aching. Needing friction, his hands made their way down Bucky's back, curving over his ass and tugging him closer, only it seemed that Bucky'd had a similar idea, his own fingers dropping to Steve's hips and pulling himself forward at the same time. They came together hard, but neither of them so much as paused as they all but devoured each other's mouths, their bodies grinding desperately. They'd teased each other for too long, their words no less potent than kisses and caresses, and this time there was no reason for him to draw back. 

Their lips parted for only as long as it took to pull their shirts over their heads, but Steve had no intention of letting Bucky get far enough away to divest him of any more of his clothing. Instead, fingers trembling with need, he struggled to unwrap his prize, moaning into Bucky's mouth when he finally managed to curl his hand around a deliciously familiar hardness. This wasn't what Bucky had asked him for, he knew, but the other man didn't seem to be complaining, his own hands tearing at the fastenings of Steve's jeans as if the buttons had personally offended him. Besides, there would be time for promise keeping later, when he was less desperate, when he could bear to take it slow, and he had every intention of taking their first time as slow as he could manage, of making love to Bucky the way he'd only ever dreamed of. 

His thoughts stumbled to a halt as warm fingers finally slid beneath his clothes, his brain short-circuiting entirely when Bucky's calloused hand wrapped around his heated flesh. He wasn't going to last, he realised immediately as Bucky started to move, twisting his wrist in a practiced way that had always had Steve seeing stars. In response, his own fingers moved faster, muscle memory guiding his hand to bring Bucky to the brink as quickly as possible. It had always been this way between them, both speeding towards completion with the threat of discovery hot on their heels, and as Bucky's hand flew over his skin, it didn't seem to matter that things could be different now. They could experiment later, could take their time to learn each other's bodies in a way they'd never been able to in the past, but first they needed this. 

As they drew closer to the edge, their mouths finally separated, Steve burying his face in the curve of Bucky's shoulder and muffling his desperate gasps against the other man's skin. It didn't even occur to him that he didn't need to, that he could cry out Bucky's name at the top of his lungs and no one would hear. This was just how they did things and right now this was what they needed; the familiar rhythm of each other in this thoroughly unfamiliar world. 

" _ Steve... _ " Bucky whined in his ear, metal fingers sliding over the sweat slicked skin of his shoulder. 

Steve moaned low in his throat, his own left hand running ceaselessly over the broad expanse of Bucky's back. He was so close he could barely catch his breath, but he wanted,  _ needed _ to make Bucky come apart first. Lifting his head, he pressed his lips against the other man's throat before running his teeth over the sensitive flesh. At the gentle scrape, Bucky hissed, cool fingers shifting to tangle in Steve's hair, holding him in place and Steve took the hint, nibbling lightly at his neck before biting down hard. 

He knew how much the other man loved this and in the past Steve had always had to be so careful not to leave any marks. His own skin healed so fast that they hadn't had to worry but Bucky's was another matter and they'd never been able to risk anything that might raise suspicion. It had always been the silver lining of a particularly physical battle that one or two more bruises on Bucky's throat could be so easily overlooked by their comrades in arms. Now though... Steve had no idea how quickly Bucky healed, but the best part was that it didn't matter. He could cover Bucky in hickies and the worst that would happen was Tony pretending to be scandalised at Cap's less than virginal behaviour. 

Thrilled suddenly by the freedom he'd always craved, Steve sucked  _ hard _ and with a muffled cry, Bucky came. The rhythm of his right hand faltered just a little as his orgasm ripped through him and that was all it took for Steve to tumble after him, burying his moans in the curve of Bucky's throat. 

It was a moment before Steve could find the energy to lift his head and even when he did, Bucky didn't let him get far, pressing their foreheads together as they panted into the air between them. At that angle the other man's face was too close to properly focus on and Steve found his gaze dropping lower instead. It was the first time he'd really looked at Bucky's chest since his arrival at the Tower when Steve had played chaperone while a doctor checked him over. It had nearly killed him then, seeing what they'd done to his friend, and even now the sight of the angry scarring across his shoulder made his heart hurt. Still, the ribbons of white painting Bucky's torso went a little way to easing the ache in his chest and abruptly the realisation that he had Bucky back hit him anew. 

Filled with a wave of tenderness, he reached out, fumbling on the bed next to him for his discarded shirt, before lifting it to Bucky's chest and stroking it gently over his skin, wiping away the evidence of his release. When he was done, he turned the material on himself, but before he could begin to clean himself up, Bucky stopped him with a hand on his wrist. The shirt was tossed thoughtlessly aside and then Bucky's hand was on him, his fingers trailing up Steve's chest to slide through the stickiness on his skin. As he watched, captivated, Bucky raised his hand to his lips, eyes fluttering shut as he sucked Steve's release from his digits. 

"I love how you taste." Bucky murmured, repeating the movement and moaning around his own fingers. "I wanna suck you off later, press you up against a wall and drop to my knees like I did back then. Wrap my mouth around you until you explode on my tongue and I can swallow every damn drop."

Steve groaned, grabbing Bucky's face with both hands and kissing him hard, almost certain he could taste himself on the other man's tongue. 

"You did that then too." Bucky recalled when Steve finally released him. "I didn't think you would after I'd had my mouth on you, but you kissed me like your life depended on it."

"Do you have any idea how hot it was, tasting myself on your lips?" 

"Oh I think I have a pretty good idea." Bucky smirked. "I remember another night too, the heat of your mouth on me in the frigid air... I kissed you nearly senseless after that, if I remember right."

Bucky did remember right, but what he'd evidently forgotten was the reason for the icy cold air. Steve himself remembered that night far too well. They'd been camping in the Alps and he and Bucky had snuck away for a few minutes of alone time. It had been absolutely freezing, but they'd heated each other up fast enough with needy kisses and groping hands. It had only been a few days after Bucky had gone down on him that first time and Steve had been dying to get his mouth on the other man ever since. When the opportunity finally presented itself he hadn't cared a damn for the way the snow soaked through his uniform as he knelt on the cold ground, he'd just wanted to bring Bucky that same pleasure the other man had brought him. After he came, Bucky had practically launched himself at Steve, tackling him back into the snow and, as it had felt to Steve, trying to suck the very life out of him, first through his mouth, then his neck and finally his dick. 

By the time they made it back to camp they were wet through and they'd had to pretend they'd been caught in a mini-avalanche to explain away their soaking uniforms and snow-drenched hair. It had taken every ounce of his self-restraint not to give them away with a giddy smile, he'd been so damn happy... Until the events of the following day had tainted his memory of that night forever. Even now with Bucky back in his arms, thoughts of those twenty four hours in the Alps brought him far more pain than pleasure and he could hardly bear to think about it. 

"You know I wanted to return the favour that first time." Steve admitted, cautiously guiding the subject back to marginally safer ground. 

"Then why didn't you?" Bucky's forehead creased as he tried to remember. 

"You didn't give me the chance." Steve smiled at the recollection. "I'd barely even got my hands on you before you were coming all over me."

"Wait, hang on. You're telling me that I was so turned on from sucking you off that I came with barely a touch and yet you still had no idea that I wanted you?" Bucky stared at him. "How the fuck could you  _ possibly _ not have known?" 

"We never talked about it, not once. Not until the cliff when you said... You asked... " Steve scrubbed his hand over his face as all the memories he'd been trying to block out hit him with the force of the speeding train thundering through his mind's eye. "And then you were gone and I never... We never..."

Bucky's face dropped and then he was the one doing the comforting, hands tightening where they'd been resting on Steve's hips, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin above his waistband. 

"It's ok, I'm here now, Stevie, I'm here."

"I missed you so much." His voice broke on a sob as he crushed Bucky against his chest, clinging on for dear life. 

Bucky shifted in his arms, his hands fluttering where they were trapped against Steve's waist, but Steve was holding him too tight for Bucky to hug back and he couldn't seem to make himself let go. Bucky was strong though, stronger than he'd been back then, and when Steve didn't release him, he wrestled himself out of the embrace instead, sliding his fingers up Steve's chest until his face was cupped in Bucky's hands, thumbs stroking gently over the line of his jaw.

"I know." Bucky told him. "And it's not fair. You deserved so much better. We  _ both  _ did." He added when Steve opened his mouth to protest. "But it's 2014, we're alive and I've wanted you to fuck me since 1945, longer if I'm honest, and even seventy years of brainwashing wasn't enough to change that, so..." Bucky's voice dropped to a husky whisper as he slid his hands into Steve's hair, fingers stroking teasingly over the nape of his neck. "Whatcha gonna do 'bout it, Stevie?" 

Steve groaned low in his throat and Bucky grinned, pulling back slightly and holding up his little finger. 

"Wrapped." He gave the digit a wiggle. 

"I hate you." Steve grumbled, trying and failing to fight back a smile. 

"No you don't." Bucky dropped his hand to rest against Steve's chest, over his heart. 

"No I don't." He agreed with a contented sigh, raising his own hands to pull Bucky into a kiss. 

It caught fire quickly, Bucky's arms wrapping around him and pulling him close, until Steve could feel Bucky's heart beating against his own. He already knew how fast his own body could recover, but it seemed he wasn't the only one with a practically non-existent refractory period. When Bucky shifted even closer, Steve's breath caught at the feel of the answering hardness pressing hot and heavy against his own. 

Eagerly, he slid his hands down Bucky's back and beneath his clothes, swallowing the other man's moan as he splayed his fingers over his ass and ground their hips together. It was good, but not nearly enough, he needed more, needed to feel Bucky's skin on his, but with the other man still straddling his lap, the only way he was going to get either of them naked involved a lot more destroyed clothing than he was entirely comfortable with. 

"Wait, Buck, hang on." Steve murmured, though he couldn't quite seem to drag his lips away from Bucky's for long enough to get the words out properly. 

"No." Bucky protested, teeth catching at Steve's lower lip and biting just hard enough to sting. "No more waiting."

Steve choked on a laugh as Bucky finally freed his mouth, only to grab his face and drag it down to his neck. 

"Fuck,  _ Bucky _ ." He groaned helplessly against the heated skin of the other man's throat, sucking another mark into existence just because he could. 

"Yes exactly, fuck Bucky." Bucky gasped. 

Steve would have laughed, but damn if it wasn't the hottest thing he'd heard this century. 

"I would love to." He murmured into Bucky's neck between sharp, biting kisses. "But I'm gonna have to get us outta these clothes first."

"Fine." Bucky agreed with a long suffering sigh, easing himself out of Steve's embrace and climbing off of his lap. 

Steve missed him immediately, but Bucky didn't go far, sprawling out beside him on the bed and stripping out of the remainder of his clothing with impressive efficiency. 

"Come on, you too." Bucky insisted when he didn't instantly jump into action.

"Little impatient, are we?" Steve huffed out a laugh as Bucky dragged him down beside him and began manhandling him out of his clothes. 

"Seventy fucking years, Steve." He shot him a glare, tossing a sock over his shoulder. 

"And you can't wait five minutes longer?" He teased, even as he lifted his hips, allowing Bucky to strip him of both jeans and underwear at once. 

"No." The word was rough, his scowl reminiscent of the Soldier and Steve swallowed hard, body clenching with need beneath the sudden intensity of Bucky's gaze. 

"Ok." He agreed quietly, not quite willing to admit how turned on he was by this darker side of Bucky, especially after he'd taken such pains to break through it. 

"Want you to open me up." Bucky demanded heatedly as he climbed on top of him, pressing him down into the sheets with the satisfying weight of his body. "You got any slick?"

"Top drawer." 

Bucky reached over, scrabbling in the nightstand until he returned with an almost empty bottle of lube and a raised eyebrow. "Someone's been busy." 

Steve flushed slightly as he grabbed hold of the container. "Hey, everyone gets a little lonely sometimes, even Captain America. Hell,  _ especially _ Captain America."

"I ain't judging." Bucky shot back, but his voice was tight, smile just a little forced and with a jolt Steve realised he was jealous. 

"We all need a helping hand every now and then." He said gently, wiggling his fingers and giving the bottle a little shake. "And jerking off has come a long way since we learned how to do it, not to mention the porn." He winked, hoping to bring a smile to the other man's face. 

Instead, Bucky gave him a shrewd look. "You honestly expect me to believe Captain America's been celibate since the forties?"

"Well no, but I gave all that up a long time ago." Reaching out with his free hand, he pressed his palm against Bucky's cheek. "I wanted something special and it didn't take long to figure out I was never gonna find what I was looking for, because the thing is..." He paused, swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat. "It's only ever been you, Buck."

For a long moment the other man just stared at him, then he lunged, slamming their mouths together and kissing Steve until he was breathless. 

"I want you inside me  _ now _ ." Bucky growled when he finally pulled back. "Get me ready."

Steve groaned even as he scrambled to obey, flipping the cap on the bottle and carefully coating his fingers. 

"Scoot up a bit." He murmured, guiding Bucky with a hand on his hip until he was half straddling Steve's torso, his weight propped on his arms either side of Steve's head. 

As soon as he was settled, Steve reached for him, grabbing a handful of ass, before sliding his slick digits between Bucky's cheeks. At the first brush of Steve's fingertip over his entrance, Bucky moaned, pressing back into the touch until Steve breached him just slightly. 

"More." Bucky ordered roughly. 

Obediently, Steve pushed a little harder, slowly sliding a finger into the tight heat of Bucky's body. 

"Fuck, you feel amazing." He whispered wonderingly. 

"Yeah?" Bucky made a choked sound as Steve pulled almost the whole way out before pushing slowly back in. "Just think how amazing I'll feel around your cock."

Steve groaned helplessly, his dick jumping against his stomach at the thought. 

"You gonna open me up for you?" Bucky continued throatily, grinding back against Steve's hand. "Spread your fingers inside me so I'm ready for your big, thick cock?" 

" _ Bucky _ ." 

"Come on Stevie." Bucky leaned down, pressing a biting kiss against his lips. "Give me another one."

Wordlessly, Steve did as Bucky had asked, sliding his finger all the way out before pressing two fingers back inside. His eyes never left Bucky's face as he pushed deeper, twisting his digits until the other man moaned, his back arching. 

"Fuck,  _ yes _ . C'mon, give me another." Bucky demanded almost immediately, shifting restlessly against Steve's hand. 

"You sure?" He fucked his fingers in and out again, letting a third finger tease lightly at Bucky's entrance without making any effort to penetrate. 

Bucky glared at him suddenly and Steve's heart skipped a beat at the fierce expression. "Of course I'm sure." 

"I don't want to hurt you." He murmured, the tip of his ring finger still stroking gently over Bucky's rim. 

"You won't, just fucking  _ do it _ ." Bucky's eyes were dark, his jaw clenched tight with need and Steve obeyed helplessly, pushing three fingers into the heat of the other man's all too willing body. 

Bucky hissed at the intrusion, but when Steve faltered, he scowled darkly, pressing back until he'd impaled himself on Steve's hand. When he couldn't go any further, his head fell forward to rest against Steve's, his eyes fluttering closed as he struggled to catch his breath and all Steve could do was lie there frozen, his heart racing in his chest as he waited for Bucky to look at him. 

"You ok?" He asked hesitantly. 

"I am  _ so _ much better than ok." Bucky opened his eyes, his lips twisting up into a wicked smirk as he rolled his hips, grinding down on Steve's fingers. 

"Yeah?" He slid his free hand into Bucky's hair pulling him down for a lingering kiss. 

"Oh  _ yeah _ ." Bucky breathed against his lips, starting to fuck himself slowly on Steve's digits. "I just need one more thing."

"What's that?" 

"Your cock in my ass." Bucky told him with a smirk. "Right fucking  _ now _ . You promised me, Steve, so come on,  _ fuck me _ ." 

He punctuated his demand by clenching hard around Steve's fingers and finally Steve cracked. The last traces of his self-control evaporated as he pulled out and flipped Bucky onto his back in one smooth movement, not even giving the other man time to catch his breath before he was right  _ there _ , surging over him and kissing him hard. With one hand he felt blindly for the lube, kneeling over Bucky's prone body as he hastily slicked himself up, refusing to let their lips part for even a second. He didn't draw back until the tip of his dick was pressing insistently against Bucky's entrance and ultimately his need to see the other man's face as they finally,  _ finally _ came together outweighed everything else. 

Their eyes locked as he pushed forward slowly but unrelentingly into Bucky's body. It was almost too much, too good, but Steve didn't stop, didn't think he  _ could _ stop as he sunk inch by inch into that welcoming heat. 

" _ Wrapped _ ." Bucky panted when Steve bottomed out, his hands dropping to Steve's ass and somehow pulling him even deeper. 

"Yeah yeah." He retorted with a breathless laugh. "Fuck, you're so  _ tight _ ."

"Tight, did you say?" Bucky grinned, tensing his muscles and squeezing around him. 

"Fucking  _ hell _ ." He groaned. "Do that again and this is gonna be over before it's even started."

"Best get started then, eh?" 

"Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do." Steve griped, pulling out only an inch or two before sliding slowly back in.

"Who me?" Bucky's attempt at innocence fell slightly flat when his voice broke on a moan, his body arching up to meet Steve's shallow thrust. 

"Yes you." He rolled his hips, relishing the way it made Bucky shiver around him. "I know exactly what you want and I promise I'm gonna give it to you until you're  _ screaming _ my name." He punctuated his words with another slow thrust. "But not yet." 

Bucky's eyes went wide. "When did you turn into such a tease?" 

"M'not teasing." He dipped his head, scraping his teeth lightly over Bucky's neck. "I'm just making it last." He pressed a little harder, biting down enough for Bucky to feel the sting without leaving a mark. 

"Fuck,  _ Steve _ ." Bucky whimpered, grabbing at his head and holding him against his throat and he relented just a little, sucking a bruise into the soft flesh. 

Pulling out almost all the way, he thrust back in just as slowly as before, letting Bucky feel every inch of him as he pushed back inside. In response Bucky shifted restlessly, planting his feet more firmly on the bed in an effort to rise up and meet him, but Steve simply wrapped a firm hand around the other man's hip, pinning him in place. 

" _ Steve... _ " Bucky whined as he struggled against the hold, but Steve was resolute, refusing to increase the pace. 

"I've wanted this, wanted  _ you _ , for as long as I've known what sex was." Steve told him roughly. "And you feel better than I could ever have imagined, so if you think I'm going to rush this the way we always had to rush  _ everything _ , you've got another think coming." He rolled his hips and Bucky keened, arching into him as much as he could under Steve's still firm hold. "I'd make this last forever if I could..." He thrust again, slow, but deep. "Spend the rest of my life making love to you." 

"Making love?" Bucky teased lightly and Steve faltered, belatedly realising what he'd said. Only there was something in Bucky's expression as he gazed up at him; a tightness in his eyes that belied his overly casual tone and it made Steve's heart clench. 

"You got a problem with that?" He asked softly, finally releasing his grip on Bucky's hip in favour of cupping his jaw, thumb brushing reverently over his cheek. 

"No." Bucky breathed, his own hands sliding into Steve's hair and pulling him down into an achingly sweet kiss. 

"You gonna let me love you?" He murmured against Bucky's lips when they parted, never once halting his slow thrusts in and out of the other man's body. 

"Yeah, Stevie,  _ yes _ ." He arched up, wrapping his legs tight around Steve's waist, pulling him in deep and keeping him there. "And I'm gonna love you right back." He whispered almost shyly. 

Steve moaned at that, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest as he brought their lips together again, kissing Bucky hard and hungry. Part of him couldn't quite believe this was real, that he wasn't about to wake up twisted in sweat soaked sheets to find that Bucky was still trapped in his own mind, as unreachable as he'd been for the past seventy years. Only then Bucky's hand slid into his hair, his fingers tugging almost painfully on the strands as he held Steve in place, all but devouring him with lips and tongue and teeth and the reality of it all crashed over him once again, flooding his senses. It was like he was drowning in it, in the feel of Bucky's body and the taste of his lips, but he just wanted  _ more _ . 

With their bodies pressed so close together, his movements were severely limited, but he couldn't find it in him to object, relishing the way Bucky continued to cling to him, despite all his earlier cockiness. Instead Steve kept his thrusts shallow, rolling their hips together in a slow but relentless rhythm until Bucky finally cracked, breaking their kiss as he threw his head back and keened. The legs around Steve's waist released him, to find purchase on the sheets and when Bucky pushed up to meet his next thrust head on, Steve couldn't hold back any more, giving in and giving Bucky exactly want he wanted. Supporting himself on his arms he thrust hard, slamming their bodies together and pulling the most beautiful sound from Bucky's throat. 

" _ Steve...! _ " 

"This what you wanted?" He panted as he began a punishing rhythm, driving into the other man's body with an almost uncontrollable urgency.

"Yes! Fuck,  _ Steve _ , come on, give it to me." Bucky bit out between breathy moans, arching up to meet every one of Steve's increasingly frantic thrusts. "Fuck me hard. Make. Me.  _ Scream _ ."

"Yeah, Buck, wanna hear you." He babbled mindlessly. "Sound so good. Love hearing you cry out for me." 

He didn't even know what he was saying any longer, he just knew he wanted more, wanted to hear all those sounds he'd been robbed of hearing back when they'd  _ had _ to stay quiet. Bucky was so fucking beautiful like this, so perfect as he slowly came apart beneath him, and Steve never wanted it to end. Only then Bucky cried out his name again, his voice cracking down the middle as he clutched desperately at Steve, metal fingers clamped almost painfully hard on his shoulder, and he knew he couldn't hold on much longer. Shifting his weight onto one arm, he slipped his free hand between their bodies, wrapping it around Bucky's dick and matching the stroke of his fingers to the rapid movement of their bodies. At the added stimulation, Bucky cried out again, a breathless, broken sound only vaguely recognisable as Steve's name, and then he was coming and Steve was lost. A couple more thrusts was all it took for his own orgasm to crash over him like a tidal wave, leaving him breathless and trembling in Bucky's unyielding embrace. 

\---

"I need a shower." Bucky muttered once he'd caught his breath, his hands fluttering weakly over Steve's back as if intending to push him away, but not quite finding the strength to do so. 

"Yeah." He agreed languidly without making any effort to move. 

"You're gonna have to get off me." Bucky pointed out, prodding him lightly in the side. 

"Don't wanna." He nuzzled further into the other man's neck. 

"Steve..." Bucky sounded exasperated, but it didn't stop him tugging Steve closer, forcing his lips more firmly against the soft skin of his throat.

"Bucky..." He murmured back, relishing the shiver caused by the teasing brush of his mouth. 

"I still need a shower."

"Do you? Really?" He bit down hard. 

"Yes!" Bucky cried out, his hand tightening in Steve's hair, holding him in place when he would have drawn back. 

"Go on then." Steve shifted a little lower, sucking on the skin just above Bucky's collar bone. "M'not stopping you." 

"You're not playing fair." Bucky muttered, though he still didn't release his death grip on Steve's hair. 

"Who said anything about fair?" He asked, trailing a line of biting kisses across the top of Bucky's chest. 

"You're Captain America! You fight for freedom and fairness!" 

Steve raised his head to retort, only for Bucky to immediately tug him back down. 

"I didn't say you should stop."

"Thought you wanted a shower?" He chuckled, running his tongue over a mark he'd made only half an hour or so earlier that had already developed into a deep purple.

"You can just lick me clean." Bucky decided, relaxing back against the sheets. 

"That's not the worst idea you've ever had." Steve admitted with a grin, his lethargy quickly fading away as he moved lower, kissing his way slowly down the other man's chest. 

His only response was a groan and Steve took that as encouragement enough. Dragging his tongue over Bucky's right nipple, he teased it into a taut peak, nibbling at the sensitised skin until Bucky whimpered helplessly, his chest hitching as though he was torn between pulling back and pressing closer. Taking pity on him, Steve shifted his attention to the other nipple instead, biting just hard enough to earn himself a yelp, before easing off to lap gently at the abused flesh with the flat of his tongue. When he was satisfied with his work and Bucky's fingers had eased their grip on his hair, he began a more thorough exploration, licking a meandering path over the firm expanse of Bucky's pectoral. When his tongue encountered the raised line of a scar, he followed it mindlessly, not even realising what he was doing until the hand in his hair suddenly clenched down hard. Immediately he drew back, pulling his mouth from the mass of scar tissue where metal met flesh. 

Bucky had seemed so comfortable using his cybernetic arm, that it hadn't really occurred to Steve that he might have any hangups about it at all. Still, using it to grab Steve's ass wasn't quite the same as having Steve's face buried in the angry looking join. 

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked quietly. 

"No." Bucky choked out, shaking his head almost violently as he half propped himself up on his right arm. "I want to fucking  _ watch _ . I want to see Captain America's mouth on the mess that Hydra did their damnedest to create. I want to watch you using what they did to me to make me feel  _ good _ and prove just how badly they fucking  _ failed _ ." 

For a moment, Steve remained frozen, thrown by the vehemence in Bucky's voice, but then his words hit home and his lips twisted up into a devious smirk. 

"Now  _ that _ I can do." He promised heatedly. 

"I'm sure." Bucky grinned back as Steve lowered his head again, running his tongue over the seam between flesh and metal. 

He kept his eyes on Bucky as he worked, kissing and licking his way over the mass of scar tissue until Bucky was panting, his whole chest hitching with every shaky breath and Steve wasn't done yet. He wasn't actually sure how much sensation Bucky had in his cybernetic arm, so for now he opted not to linger too long as he kissed a path down the length of the metal. There would be time to explore what Bucky could or couldn't feel later, for now he was on a mission and the other man certainly didn't seem to have any objections, his eyes burning into Steve's as he watched, waiting to see what he would do next. 

When he reached the inside of Bucky's wrist, the press of his lips against metal was accompanied by Bucky curving his hand over Steve's jaw and he paused for just a moment, nudging his face into the cool palm as Bucky's thumb stroked gently across his cheek, but he didn't let it distract him for long. Shooting Bucky a teasing smile, he replaced his mouth with his fingers, tugging the hand away from his jaw until he could angle it how he wanted, with his lips pressed against smooth fingertips. 

"Steve..." Bucky moaned wonderingly as his tongue darted out, lapping at the metal as if it were sugar-coated. 

"You know, there's something else we could do if you want to use your arm as a fuck you to Hydra." Steve told him, before abruptly slipping two fingers into his mouth and sucking on them hard enough to hollow his cheeks. 

"Oh?" Bucky's voice was so rough it was barely audible, his eyes locked on the way Steve's lips were sliding slowly up and down his metal digits. 

"Mhmm." Steve hummed, swallowing Bucky's fingers right down to the knuckles before pulling back completely, leaving the slick fingertips to rest wetly against his mouth while he spoke. "You could put these someplace else." 

Bucky's eyes went wide, unconsciously pressing his hand forward until his fingers slipped back between Steve's lips. "Where..." His voice cracked and he paused to clear his throat before trying again. "Where did you have in mind?"

"Let's just say you weren't the only one back in the 40s imagining how it would feel to be fucked." Steve told him seriously. 

"Fucking  _ hell _ , Steve. You can't just blurt out something like that." 

"You mean like you did? Just before we rode a zip wire off the side of a mountain onto a speeding train?" Steve teased, though his words didn't come out quite as flippantly as he'd intended. 

"That was different." Bucky informed him. "Extenuating circumstances." 

"That so?" 

"I was scared I might not get another chance." He admitted and Steve's heart clenched painfully, Bucky's hand slipping from his grasp as Steve moved over him again, capturing his mouth in a desperate kiss. 

It was a long while before he could bring himself to pull back, but when he did Bucky picked up the conversation as if he'd never been interrupted. "You, however, had all the time in the world to slowly work up to it." 

"What if I don't want to work up to it slowly? What if I want it tonight?" 

"And you complained  _ I  _ was impatient?" Bucky demanded incredulously.

"As you have reminded me several times, it's been seventy years." Steve pointed out. "And there's only so much I can do with my own fingers."

"Your own..." Bucky groaned, his eyes falling shut. "Fucking hell, what an image." 

"If you're very good, I might show you sometime." 

Bucky shook his head, looking slightly dazed. "I don't know what I want first. I feel like I've got a whole buffet of Steve laid out in front of me and everything looks so damn good, I don't even know where to start." 

"Trust me, I know the feeling." Steve assured him. "I want to devour you." 

Bucky shivered at that, his body pressing against Steve's with the movement, but it also seemed to remind him of something. "Weren't you doing something?" 

"Was I?" 

"Well I still need a shower so either get licking or get off." 

Groaning, Steve slid a little further down Bucky's body, burying his face in the curve of his neck and licking a long stripe up the column of his throat. 

"Not goin' anywhere." Steve told him roughly as he began to kiss his way over Bucky's chest again. 

"Ever?" Bucky asked, the unexpected note of vulnerability in his tone making Steve look up. 

"Ever." Steve assured him, voice suddenly thick with emotion as he reached for Bucky's right hand, tangling their fingers together and squeezing tightly. "I'm with you to the end of the line, Buck."   
  
  



End file.
